OOC: Appointments

[burns_so_brightly]

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[winksandnods]

[A pause. There are things he can say now that he can't around Guy.]

Because I have no choice. I have to be here.

[burns_so_brightly]

So does everyone. Looks to me like some people have settled in. Why not you?

[Because it's not Anthony. But he wants to hear it.]

[winksandnods]

[A pause. Julian knows the answer, and Anthony knows he'll have to say it. Might as well get it over with.]

Because I hate to be anywhere I haven't chosen to be.

[burns_so_brightly]

[Julian draws a pack of cigarettes from one pocket and opens it, drawing out two and handing one to his companion.] Everyone hates it, it isn't your special sensibilities. I have no bloody choice either, but it's that or literally spend the rest of my life discontented and waiting to die again. Why not even try?

[winksandnods]

[Waiting to die again.

Anthony frowned, trying not to think about that too hard.]

Why not try to change it? [Ah, there was the Anthony Blunt of Cambridge.] We can't leave, but that hardly requires us to simply accept that "this is the way it's always been, so this is the way it will always be."

So much complacency, and no one sees it for what it is-- dangerous.

[burns_so_brightly]

So what are you gonna do about it, eh? Change the world?

[There's a sparkle in his eye when he says it. The answer is yes, Anthony. Anything less would be unlike you.]

[winksandnods]

I can try. Do it. Or die trying.

[He's trying to hide that smile... but it's there.]

[burns_so_brightly]

Then what have you been doing the last four months? Sitting on your arse, wishing you were somewhere else? That's not the Anthony Blunt I knew.

[winksandnods]

Gathering information. Sorting it. Figuring out what matters and what doesn't.

[He's biting the end of his cigarette more than he's smoking it. He's still smoking it, of course, but his teeth are definitely coming down onto what's in his mouth.

His voice is low, almost muttered. Julian knows what they all are now. There's no reason to hide this much, then. And it's... easier to talk to a man he knows to be dead than to Kim. And certainly easier than talking to Guy.]

I know England. I know what to change and how to change it. It's slow work. So infuriatingly slow... but I know the key players and how they move. How to influence how they move.

None of the information from the world I know helps me here. New government. New system. New people in charge.

And we started at the bottom of the ladder this time.

[burns_so_brightly]

[A shrug.] I can help. Talk to people. Go on a few dates. Find out who pulls strings round here, besides the bloody scientists.

[winksandnods]

The Malnosso don't associate with us. Makes it harder.

[...And, for good measure, so he can honestly say he tried--]

Don't put yourself in any danger.

Guy would never forgive me. [And he's skirted too close to that line before with Guy where Julian was concerned. He won't let this put him past it.]

[burns_so_brightly]

[A laugh.] What does Guy have to do with it? I choose what I choose, and I'd like to help you. It's better than doing nothing.

[winksandnods]

[Because I have to protect Guy.]

Because I will have to answer to Guy if I encourage or even allow you to do anything dangerous.

[burns_so_brightly]

[Julian is getting a weird feeling about this.]

Why?

[winksandnods]

Because that's what I do. What I have always tried to do.

[burns_so_brightly]

He...took it hard, did he?

[winksandnods]

[A pause. A laugh.

Understatement of the century, Julian. But.]

Guy takes everything hard.

[But then--]

I don't ever want to have to tell him something like that again. Especially not if I could have prevented or at least discouraged it.

[burns_so_brightly]

...It's funny. When I chose to go to Spain, I never thought I'd be around to see the outcome if I couldn't come back. Back when death was a risk instead of something that already happened.

[winksandnods]

It's simpler, certainly, when dead men stay dead. But. That isn't what happens.

Which means you're not to get yourself into any trouble. Not get hurt, not get mixed up in... [in our world] in anything.

[burns_so_brightly]

...I didn't do the wrong thing, Anthony.

[winksandnods]

[A sigh.]

No. You didn't.

[burns_so_brightly]

...You don't think I did the right one, either.

[winksandnods]

I think there was no "right" thing.

[burns_so_brightly]

[He spends some time chewing over that as they walk. After a moment, he speaks up again.]

So you want me to stay out. For Guy's sake.

[winksandnods]

And for yours.

But if I try to just convince you on that point-- I know you. You'll tell me it's not my place to tell you what you can and can't do when you want to help.

So-- yes. For Guy's sake.